In order to move forward from your past, you must first understand that you serve a forgiving and gracious God. Only the devil has interest in focusing on your failures no matter how big or small because he knows it keeps you in bondage and makes you feel unworthy of Gods grace. I'm here to tell you that God wants you to live a life free of condemnation.
Romans 8: 1-2, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the spirit who gives life, has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Each of us have our own story or circumstance which has probably left us feeling God could never forgive us. For me it was my divorce. God's word says that he dislikes divorce, yet we still know he loves the sinner. He hates divorce because he knows the deep wounds it causes His children, who He cares for more deeply than we could ever imagine. God knows your individual circumstances and your heart. You can't allow yourself to live with the shame, regret, embarrassment and failure if you are going to succeed in your new marriage. The enemy wants you to believe those awful things about yourself and he is the author of all lies! In my experience, two areas which have helped me to thrive in my new blended marriage are forgiveness and taking every thought captive, let me explain.
Forgiveness of Self and Others
Forgiveness is one of the hardest areas to tackle. It takes prayer, remembering you're not perfect because God isn't looking for perfection instead he's waiting for you to go to him in your brokenness with a humble and open heart allowing him to renew your soul.
When you find yourself struggling to accept Gods forgiveness, ask the holy spirit to lead you in truth and acknowledge your need for healing. God will meet you right where you are with open arms ready and willing to help you put your past behind you once and for all. The most important piece to this is actually "believing" God has forgiven you. There is nothing so terrible Gods grace can't forgive. He wipes the slate clean making you white as snow. Forgive yourself because God already has!
1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faith and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
You must also forgive those who have brought you pain (previous spouse) and let any bitterness, anger, resentment, or negative feelings you continue to harbor go. If not, you only delay the emotional healing your soul is seeking. Unforgiveness is like a bad habit...the more you feed it, the stronger it grows. Dealing with these issues if you truly want to move forward, is essential to being successful in your new blended marriage.
Take Every Thought Captive
If you allow the voice of the enemy to speak louder than Gods truth in your life about the past you give the enemy a foothold into your mind and emotions.
Taking every thought captive is vital to your emotional and mental healing. I have found it so important to know the word of God. I can't tell you how many times the enemy has attacked me but for every negative thought I'm ready with scripture and Gods truth to fight back. Fighting the enemy is a spiritual war and because you are Gods child you have been given authority over the enemy to break and defeat his strongholds in your life.
Colossians 2:10, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.
As long as you listen to his lies you remain a prisoner to your past. You see, Satan's mission is to tear you down right from the beginning of your new marriage causing confusion and turmoil. The word of God is your weapon and necessary in order to quiet the enemy's whispers. In the book Blending Families by Jimmy Evans and Frank Martin they explain,
"That's how Satan works to tear couples apart. Whenever he sees conflict or stress in a relationship, he capitalizes on it by whispering into our spirit. You just married the wrong person. You'd be happier if you'd never met them. You were better off before. He uses the memories of our past ties and relationships to destroy our present ones. And he does it because he knows it works. Satan understands the emotional ties created by previous relationships, even if we don't. And Satan will use any tool at his disposal when trying to destroy what God has joined together. This is perhaps one of the most damaging and prevalent "day one" dynamics facing almost all blended marriages. In just about every blended family, there are remnants of past relationships, and if those memories haven't been healthily resolved, Satan will use them to tear the family apart."
Put your trust in God and allow him to silence the enemy. Having a blended marriage and family is a challenge but the joy you'll find with God on your side is a blessing. He will walk with you, guiding your every step. So relax, sit back, and give God the wheel. He's got this. Don't ever think you are not worthy of Gods love and grace because your past does not dictate your future. You are valuable to God and with each day he's refining you. We are a reflection of his image, pure and whole...YOU ARE WORTHY!!!!